Ms. 43: Beyond The Boxscore

"I think she's gonna hit the team record" I said to a fellow Sparks fan. " I think Kristi is going to get the 43 points." A whistle blows. A foul is called. Kristi is heading to the line. She is at 41 points. Staples is instilled in a chilling dead silence. First shot is up and in. 42. She steps up to the line once more. Its up.............its in. 43 points. 43 points and a LA win in Kristi's first home game back from Slovakia. An LA win alone was enough to make the average Sparks fan yell and scream in excitment like a child who had just been surprised with a trip to Disneyland. Me, I was just happy that for a split moment in time I was able to witness such a great game during a not so great time in my life. You would think a person who just watched history being made would be jumping for joy with the rest of the happy fans. My mind was so sheltered with stress, panic and worry that for most of the game, I wouldn't even be aware of what was insuing inside of Staples. The greatness of seeing a Hall of Famers record being broken in front of me didn't seem so important. In fact, It was almost as if it was too good to be true. I was in such a bad place in my life that anything good that happened at that point was too good to be true.

43 points. 43 points and my mind was elsewhere. "Maybe" I thought to myself, "Maybe this Q&A event will be worthwhile." A very unsure yet, pretty calm me takes my seat in the front row. Hands start clapping. Fans begin to cheer. Here they come. Nneka, Alana Beard, but most importantly to this story, here comes Kristi. Ms 43 herself. Calm, cool, poised. Calm as the sea before a vicious storm. As cool as a Chicago breeze in the fall time. As poised as a lion about to take down its pray. She didn't carry herself as a women who had just broken a single game franchise record. Instead, she carried herself with class and humility. I am sitting here in front of a player who I have watched since college. A player that until today, I've only seen from a distance or from the brightness of my tv screen. "Questions?" Of course I had a question. I have three great athletes in front of me, one of which who just scored 43. I'm not going to let this chance disappear, even if I am not all mentally there. Of course me being me, I can't just ask a question first. I have to make an impression. "I have a question. But before I get to my question, I want to congratulate Kristi on dropping a 43 piece nugget." (That's points for all of those who don't know my lingo) In the most humble, shiest tone ever Ihear a " Thanks." "I also think your jacket is really dope." What happened next could only come out of a sappy movie scene. Kristi responds, " Thank you. Do you want it?" Do I want a player who I've been following since college jacket?.................Uh Yeah!!!! On the outside I was cool. But on the inside I was screaming like a kid who had just rode their first ever rollar coaster. "I mean, yeah if you want to give it to me. I'm not going to make you." " After the Q&A." At this moment, I didn't know whether or not to sit in excitment or sit and harp on how I really felt on the inside.

Promises. She kept her promise and gave me her jacket. The jacket off her back. For me, that was the happiest I've been in months. I knew the feeling wouldn't last long. I knew I would be leaving my slight fortitude of happiness. I knew I didn't have a stable place to go home too after such an eventful night. I knew I would still have to pretend. I would have to pretend that I wasn't homeless for a few months and place to lay my by head permanently. I would have to pretend that jacket I just recieved would get hung up in a closet that I would call my own. In reality, that jacket that I very much so appreciated, was going into the back of my car where all my other belongings were. I was pretending as if me and my family weren't living in the Extended stay hotel. I was also pretending that I would never go to the room, lock myself if the bathroom and cry it out at certain hours in the night. I cried that night. How could such a good night turn into one filled with shame and pain? At this point, I was a great emotional pretender. Just by looking at me you wouldn't be able to tell that I was in a dire situation looking for happiness through attending a game. Even witnessing a great game and receiving one of my favorite sports memorabilia I have ever recieved to date, couldn't take my mind away from the fact that I would not be going to my own place of residence. I am grateful for the gesture. And I am even more grateful for being able to attend the game. I am even grateful for the few minutes of happiness I did recieve. I was actually able to crack a real smile and not a fake one I used to keep people out of my space. I don't think she could ever realize how much, even if for a split second in time made me realize that things were ok. And now things are ok. that jacket is now hanging in my OWN closet. And that 43 point game now will always be more than just a game to me. It will forever be a memory of not only witnessing history, but a memory of what it felt like to be happy again if only at the time, temporarily. It taught me that with all that was happening, Some things aren't to good to be true.

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